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Oct 3, 2018
3 min

Why Trying for a Baby Isn't A Rollicking Good Time

ww Until you’ve tried (and crucially, failed) it’s hard to imagine how trying for a baby could be anything other than a rollicking great time. For many couples it’s simple. Shaggity shag shag and you’re up the duff. But for some, trying for a baby can turn into an unpleasant roller coaster of emotions. Hope followed by crushing disappointment, ovulation tests, scheduled sex, a complete absence of foreplay, more crushing disappointment. Don’t get me wrong, at the start it’s wo

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The Hotbed Podcast: Frequently Asked Questions

Anniki Sommerville

Apr 2, 2018
5 min

Is it okay to objectify blokes?

Phowar he's a bit of alright. He's more than alright. Oooh he's a sort. I love a man with chubby thighs. God a man who is just starting to lose his hair. God that's gross. No a ginger man. Like Prince Harry. Exactly. A man who is bossy. A man who is the singer in a band. A skinny man. A muscular macho type. God no I can't stand those. A good butt. Yes a good butt is SO important. A regular chat between a group of women. Up until recently I kind of thought this chat was innoce

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Dr Karen Gurney

Mar 3, 2018
2 min

My Belly Button Lovin' Guy

So this week we tackle another sex problem with our resident expert Dr Karen Gurney. She's also known as @thesexdoctor on Instagram, and director of the Havelock Clinic. There is no question too big or too small for Dr Karen so get in touch if you want to share and we'll do all we can to get you an answer as soon as we can. Question: Hey Dr Karen, I met a guy on tinder a couple of years ago and ended up having a bit of a fling with him for a few months. He was a great guy bu

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What Is The Pelvic Floor and Why Does It Matter?

Elizabeth Davies, the Mummy Coach

Mar 1, 2018
6 min

What Is The Pelvic Floor and Why Does It Matter?

If you’ve listened to our podcast The Hotbed, you will probably have heard the episode Pelvic Paw Patrol, in which we talk to Dr Amal Hassan and post-natal doula and personal trainer Elizabeth Davies about all things pelvic floor. They talk about how pelvic floor dysfunction can make sex hurt, and how important it is to rebuild the core by doing kegel exercises properly. They also recommend visiting a women’s physiotherapist for personalised guidance on how you can rebuild yo

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by Anonymous

Feb 25, 2018
2 min

A Dad's Perspective on Sex After Kids

We want The Hotbed to be inclusive and have male and female perspectives on sex and relationships. In this post a Dad shares his experience of going through a sex break with his wife and how he looks forward to things picking up again. It's important that we keep these channels of commuication open- sometimes women think their partner is losing interest when really, they're longing to re-boot intimacy too. This Dad shares his story... 'I am currently sat watching the rugby wh

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Anniki Sommerville

Jan 15, 2018
5 min

5 Things I Wish I'd Known about Sex When I was 16

I wasn’t a particularly early starter, but I always looked older than my age so found that men were hassling me for sex from about thirteen. It didn’t help that I went out to clubs in Soho, and lied about my age, and wore platform shoes and had enormous hair (though I think men probably guessed I was younger but chose not to think too hard about it). I didn’t have sex until I was almost sixteen, but up until that point I’d had quite a few close encounters, and many of them we

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Sarah-Jan Outten

Jan 10, 2018
3 min

Why Turning 40 Improved my Sex Life

Well maybe not actually turning 40. I’m sure as I headed through my late 30’s it got better. And if you’re not there yet and you’re filled with fear at the thought of aging, I’m here to tell you, you have nothing to worry about. Last night my husband and I had sex. Actually, we had awesome sex. Which for a week day and kids at home is really quite something; let alone the fact that we are both 41. I feel it only right that I be totally honest with you at this point and say th

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by Anonymous

Dec 19, 2017
2 min

How Vaginal Surgery Helped My Sex Life

A little while ago, I wrote (another) anonymous blog, wondering whether having surgery would help me to rekindle my sex life. And no, not that, kind of surgery, but intricate surgery to repair parts that had suffered after giving birth to two children within two years. (Will a designer vagina improve my sex life?) I used to have a healthy sex drive, and unsurprisingly after two children, two rounds of breastfeeding and four years of not having a whole nights’ sleep, it had to

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Celine Bell

Dec 19, 2017
3 min

When parenting makes the bed turn cold

I remember my husband saying to me, a few heady weeks into our relationship, that he couldn’t imagine getting into bed with me and not touching me, or sitting next to me and not resting a hand on me. We were connected by touch the whole time we were together, either holding hands as we walked home, or a hand rested on a knee, or in the small of a back. Our relationship was, as many relationships are so early on, incredibly physical. Fast-forward a few years, and whilst we sti

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Help the feminist movement. Have a real orgasm

Charlotte Austin

Nov 28, 2017
3 min

Help the feminist movement. Have a real orgasm

Women have become the masters of faking it. We fake being comfortable in heels. We fake being demure when we want to be assertive. We fake being a princess when we want to climb that tree. We fake being full when we actually want three courses. And we fake our orgasms. Around 50-65% of women have faked at some point. Why do we do this? At school age girls are ahead of the boys - partly because they're more confident to put their hands up and ask questions and admit they don't

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Cherry, Anniki and Lisa

Nov 12, 2017
4 min

A Night With Hotbed 8th November 2017

So we're still recovering from the fabulousness that was our first 'A NIGHT WITH HOTBED' live podcast event which took place at Old Street Records this week. This was really the first time that we'd stood up on stage in front of an audience and told everyone what we were really about, what we wanted to achieve, and more importantly how much we hated it when our partner picked the dead skin off his feet in front of us. First off we need to say BOOK OF MUM aka Kelly Ford was in

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Vlog: We review In2Mate Natural Lubricant

The perils and perks of crushes (and keeping it real)

Georgina Fuller

Oct 5, 2017
3 min

The perils and perks of crushes (and keeping it real)

(image of Burt Reynolds from https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/378302437427498137/?lp=true) When I was coming of age, during my glorious technicolour years , which I remember with more clarity than I can remember anything much that’s happened in the last few months, possibly years, I wasn’t much like my peers. I didn’t fancy Bros or New Kids On The Block or anyone from Take That. (I did, however, go to a Jason Donovan concert and feel burning envy when my friend, Hannah, caugh

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'Bonking with Intent' or Trying for a Baby Sex

Mother Pukka

Sep 26, 2017
2 min

'Bonking with Intent' or Trying for a Baby Sex

Mates had started kicking things off in the baby arena before us and the first few baby showers had begun easing into a diary that was formerly the reserve of nights getting mashed up in places called The Purple Turtle. There wasn't even a discussion, just an accidental moment that turned into a series of them. Everything else in my life had seemed controllable- GCSES, A-levels, work, even marriage- and then suddenly you're playing Russian roulette with your ovaries centre st

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by The Scummy Mummies

Sep 19, 2017
1 min

5 Easy Sex Positions for Parents

Forget the Wheelbarrow, the Reverse Cowgirl and the Upside-down Lotus Blossom. No one with kids has energy for that. Here are some more feasible sex positions to try. The Multitasker Classic doggy style, but on the kitchen floor. Then you can save time by having sex whilst picking up old Cheerios. Silent Night Ramp up the erotic tension by constantly telling your partner to be quiet in case he wakes the baby. Eyes Wide Shut Have sex blindfolded. It's not an S&M thing; it's so

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Anniki Sommerville

Sep 19, 2017
4 min

Why I Fancy Dads...

('Sexy Dads' Animation by @roundkatepopkatshouse) When you become a parent your social circle can become thin on the ground. There are a few baby groups here and there (rarely sexy places). And then there are the tea and coffee mornings in the church (again not a spot of sauce in sight). And then out in the real day to day world (if you've actually got dressed and are not flopped on the sofa like a deflated paddling pool), there's basically the postman (bit on the old side fo

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Why Burping My Partner Rarely Gets Me In The Mood

Sophie Farrow

Sep 19, 2017
2 min

Why Burping My Partner Rarely Gets Me In The Mood

As parents you know sex either involves impeccable timing, careful planning or don't-make-a-sound non-fun! None of them are mind blowing, to say the least. But also add in a partner that often throws in a good fart too for good measure, then all romance is officially dead! I often feel like I'm looking after two kids but what happened this particular night took the biscuit. Picture this (and no not us naked, as that would be gross)...no instead picture us laying down in bed f

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Help! My Partner Fancies Porn More Than Me

Dr Karen Gurney

Sep 17, 2017
3 min

Help! My Partner Fancies Porn More Than Me

Do you have a sex problem which you would like us to help sort out? Write to us here and we'll do our best. In the fifth in this series of sex advice, Dr Karen Gurney, @thesexdoctor on Instagram, and director of the Havelock Clinic, answers one reader question... Question: Hi Dr Karen, My husband is no longer interested in me and I fear that he doesnt find be attractive. He is also watching a lot of online porn. I checked his browsing history and he'd forgotten to erase it. D

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