• Dr Karen Gurney

Help! New mother, no sex drive

When you've just had a baby, sex can be the last thing on your mind. Literally the last thing. But should we worry about this, or is there a reason for our drop in libido? In the eighth in this series of sex advice, Dr Karen Gurney, @thesexdoctor on Instagram, and director of the Havelock Clinic, answers one reader question...

And if you have a sex problem then write to us here and we'll do our best to give you some super-helpful advice.


I had my daughter six months ago and haven’t been able to even entertain the thought of having sex with my husband since. I feel like I should be at least trying to get that side of our relationship back but the truth is it couldn’t be further from my mind! It doesn’t help that my baby doesn’t sleep, my boobs constantly leak and I don’t want him to go near them. Help!


Dr Karen Gurney says:

Please don’t worry about not feeling like reinstating your sexual relationship yet, it’s completely normal to feel that way after having a baby. Apart from the effects of tiredness, any physical after effects of birth on your body and feeling overwhelmed 24/7 it can be useful to know that the hormone that facilitates breastfeeding (Prolactin) is one of the biggest desire killers ever. The best thing you can do right now is not worry about it, tell him how you’re feeling and reconnect with each other emotionally and physically in a non-sexual way whenever you can steal 5 minutes (or whenever you start getting some decent sleep!)

Image source: http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/futuretense/time-as-the-ultimate-remix/6669002

#sexualintimacy #longtermrelationships #sexafterkids #sexafterparenting #drkaren #advice #joggingbottoms #comfortable #makinganeffort


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