So when I was a teenager snogging was definitely de-rigueur. We went to parties and we did it. We went to nightclubs and did it. We got the train up to Covent Garden and hid in the church garden behind the public toilets and did it. We kept a running tally of how many boys we'd snogged. Sometimes it was just the one. Sometimes two. Sometimes more. It sounds bad now but we sampled boys and then passed them on for our friends to try. 'He's a good kisser,' we said. 'That one has braces that scratch your mouth.' 'He's like a washing machine.' 'Leaves slobber all over your chops.'
I don't think we were particularly wild for our age. We went to a girls school and there were times when it all felt slightly like St Trinian's but snogging was accepted. Things rarely went much further and that was the great thing about it. Okay, sometimes boys would try and get their hands down your pants but they were easily dissuaded. Later on things got much more complicated and it was harder not to comply but that's a whole other story.
Snogging felt good. I still remember the frisson of spotting someone I fancied and knowing that I'd definitely snog them later on. You didn't expect to settle down and marry the guy. It was for one night, maybe two nights if you really liked him. I even remember some of their names today:
Are you settled down right now? Do you snog anymore? Do you?
The thing is once you settle down properly and get married and have kids, it's no longer acceptable to go to parties and snog strangers. That kind of thing very quickly gets you uninvited to playdates and children's parties. Who wants a Mum high on prosecco flinging herself around like a thirteen year old? Growing up is about sacrificing that flighty stuff and being serious and unless you fancy swinging (which for many of us is pretty intimidating), then snogging is out of the question.
Then there's your long term partner/husband but snogging seems to get less frequent in my experience. If you're a couple that's been together for more than ten years, snogging feels...frankly obscene. It feels more rude than having sex sometimes. But it's so much fun! I hear you say. It's free. It's easy. It makes you feel good. And all of that is true.
'I've forgotten how to do it,' my friend recently said to me when we were discussing our lack of snogging action.
'Me too,' I replied.
'Bobby was a good kisser.'
'So was his brother.'
'Did you get off with his brother?'
'I think I got off with both of them.'
And that's sad isn't it? Sad that we don't always go into our love lives with the same level of excitement we had in our teens. Sure there was load of shit too and fall out and arguments and unrequited love but it was also bloody exciting wasn't it? Or am I just seeing it through rose-tinted specs? And I'm not advocating snogging a bunch of random strangers (unless that's what you fancy doing - in which case FILL YOUR BOOTS LADY) but wouldn't it be lovely to snog more often? Wouldn't it be nice if it didn't lead to anything else (maybe a bit of petting here and there). Can we bring back snogging?