‘I used to love it all but just cannae be bothered now! My younger child-free self would be furious!’
We surveyed you about your sex lives after having kids. It was all completely anonymous, and revealed that 77% of parents are unhappy with their sex lives, with lack of energy, sleep and sex drive being cited as the top three contributing factors.
93% of parents surveyed said they’d like to improve their sex lives, but 36% blamed embarrassment on why they weren’t as adventurous as they were before. Worryingly, more than a quarter of respondents said they didn’t talk to anyone about sex, not even their partners, friends or GP.
‘I wish my partner knew that we are not alone having problems getting back in the sack.’
Key statistics from the report include:
77% parents don’t have the sex life they want
93% say they could improve their sex live
Lack of energy, sleep and sex drive were the primary factors for this
22% blamed co-sleeping with children
15% because sex just isn’t important to them
9% said it was because of a birth injury
Mental health issues and relationship breakdowns were also cited.
27% of people said they talked to no one about sex
56% said they’d tried sex toys before kids, but only 30% used them afterwards.
49% said they’d had outdoor sex before kids, but this drops to 10% after kids.
‘I know my sex life is not over it's just been put on hold for a while’
The survey was carried out by the Hotbed Collective, a new collective of female journalists interested in discussion around sex, bringing together relevant information and progressing debate. Their first campaign, #BackInTheSack, focuses on sex after kids.
The Hotbed Collective is made up of Cherry Healey (BBC Three, Letters to my Fanny), Anniki Sommerville (Selfish Mother) and Lisa Williams (TantrumXYZ).
‘The survey results show we have our work cut out,’ says Lisa Williams. ‘British parents do not have the sex lives they want, and we have set up the Collective to do something about it. Let’s get people talking, writing and learning about sex.’