A little while ago, I wrote (another) anonymous blog, wondering whether having surgery would help me to rekindle my sex life. And no, not that, kind of surgery, but intricate surgery to repair parts that had suffered after giving birth to two children within two years. (Will a designer vagina improve my sex life?)
I used to have a healthy sex drive, and unsurprisingly after two children, two rounds of breastfeeding and four years of not having a whole nights’ sleep, it had totally gone. But, also sex hurt. The consultants I saw (and I saw a few) recommended surgery to make sex less painful.
Now, I wasn’t sure about this. In fact I almost considered having counselling to help me work through the issues I seemed to have attributed to vaginal surgery. To say I had wound myself up into a state would be a minor understatement, I was completely neurotic. Who would look after the children? How long would it be agony for? What if I reacted to the anaesthetic and was a complete zombie? I had meals planned, cupboards stocked and contingencies on standby! I prepared myself for the post pain of childbirth but without the happy baby hormones.
But please, let me tell you, none of that was the case! No, it wasn’t very comfortable, and I found it hard to sit down for a week. I had to perch, or rest on my hips, or just lie down but this was particularly easy, as all I do is lie on the floor playing cars and trains, or breaking up fights to destroy towers and puzzles! Walking was fine, so the park was a hit. In fact by day 5 or 6 I hardly noticed it and was actually looking forward to trying to have sex with my husband to see if it had been a success.
So when I went for my check-up 10 days later, I was slightly surprised to be told I was NOT to even try it, for at least another 6 weeks. But, instead I had to embark upon some “training”. I kid you not! Dispatched with what I can only describe as the NHS’s DIY kit, without batteries, I am supposed to practice every night, moving up a size until I’m on a par with the husband’s equipment (it doesn’t go that big).
So now, do I have a sex drive, do I hell! Being told you can’t have something has been the ultimate aphrodisiac. I dutifully do my homework but really I just want to be getting down and dirty with the real thing. We aren’t going to be stupid and rush it (as I really don’t want to have to go through surgery again) but I can assure you I won’t be waiting another 6 weeks.
So what can I say; if it hurts, get it checked out. If they recommend surgery, don’t be afraid (and don’t let it ruin your state of mind!).
And if you have lost your appetite why not try enforcing a complete ban. The forbidden fruit has been a huge turn on in this house.
I’ve just got to resist taking a bite of the apple, for a tiny bit longer.